Tuesday, 26 March 2013

The A to Z of Lisa

is for Awesome, my word of the year. 
It's also for Asshats who I'm always near. 
is for Baby, asleep like a log.
For me, time for wine and a good chance to blog.
is for Childcare. Hooray for Monday!
The twins will play there for a part of the day.
D  is for Daddy. Can you please come home soon?
The darlings are feral. Must be that damn moon.
E  is for Energy, something I've not.
Need more time in the day to clean after my lot.
is for fighting. That's all the kids do.
Five feral children - we'd planned for just two.
G  is for Good Grief, God Lord and Good God.
Words that escape me as I lose my wad.
H  is for Happy. For the most part it is.
It's a hectic and hellish and heavenly shiz.
is for Ignore. Pick my battles I try.
That's crap and you know it. I rant and I cry.
J  is for Jam - man, that shit is sticky.
It's stuck in Lil's hair, now it's matted and icky.
K  is for Kalm, if you spell it with K.
But you don't and that sucks so move on I say.
L  is for Love. Despite what you think,
My kids - I do love them - they don't always stink.
M  is for Mummy, Mum, Muuuuuum, Mama, Mother.
They shout it from one end of the house to the other.
N  is for Nappies. I'm sick of this shit. 
So for two out of three kids the toilet they'll sit.
O  is for Organised - something I need.
My mind is all busy, it needs to be freed.
is for Paint - what I have on my wall.
Along with the scribble, the boogers and all. 
Q  is for Quiet and the sleep that I crave.
No questions, no quarrels, the kids will behave.
R  is for Rhyme. I'm not a good poet.
I'm not a good writer. And this doesn't rhyme.
S  is for Swearing. I do it too much.
My kids speak like wharfies - they copy me such.
T  is for Tea. Never know what to cook
To make everyone happy and to not fucking sook. 
 U  is for Uni. I'll finish one day.
A change in career is headed my way.
V  is for Vego. My son's one of those.
If I serve him meat, he'll just turn up his nose.
W  is for Weight. It's a struggle for me.
I'm losing a bit, not enough yet to see.
X  is for X Rays. A lot we've had lately.
Not just our bodies, our wallets hurt greatly.
Y  is for Yawn. It's sleep that I need.
I'm constantly buggered from rearing my breed.
Z   is for Zoo. It's the place I call home.
I love it. I hate it. But I'll never roam.

The A to Z of Lisa, linking up with Deb and all the other amazing bloggettes at Home Life Simplified's Listmania extravaganza. Go have a look!

Leave me a message, please!!! It's so lonely here by myself.


  1. what do you mean you can't write - you are a poet and you know it xxx awesome chick!

    1. Thanks Deb! I'm no Emily Bronte...

      Maybe Dr Suess??

  2. Oh my, I sat down to read some of these lists while having my coffee (and letting the children run free) and by the end of your post, most of my coffee was coming out my nose from laughing so hard. Thanks so much for the comic relief, this is going down in the listmania hall of fame!!!

    1. I'm sorry your nose got more of a caffeine hit than you!

      Thanks a lot, Beth!

  3. What a great list...I love the rhymes!

    1. Thanks Bec!

      We play rhyme games here often with the twins. It always goes south to the naughty words. My 3 year olds inspired me with this one!

  4. 'I'm not a good writing. I'm not a good poet'. Lisa. This post is brilliant!

    1. Thanks Kate!

      If only I was this funny in person. You may get very bored when we meet!

  5. Oh Lisa bloody brilliant as always! lol

    Do you Aussies call dinner tea too then?

    You are a shiny star my love!


  6. Tea, dinner, grub...

    Thanks Lovely!

  7. "Five feral children - we'd planned for just two." Hahahahahaha! I would like to plan for two...and a third if there's an oops...But five? Oy vey!

  8. So clever, I was thinking very Dr Suess, brilliant!