Brouhaha

It has been a year to the day since I was put in my place by another parent about my parenting skills. We both stood in the school playground, arms crossed and had it out. It was all very high-school-like, I'm embarrassed to say, but there I was trying to quietly defend myself while being berated in public. I don't like confrontation. But this time I stood strong, albeit quiet, and stood up for my son who was the centre of my apparent lack of parental guidance.

Don't get me wrong - Campbell can be a total little show-offy shit of a kid. But he's my little shit of a kid and I'd take a bullet for him - most days.

This looks nifty. 

I try to give Campbell a little freedom. At 11, I let him ride his bike around the streets, walk home from school and enter the house by himself. He learned how to catch a train and go to local skateparks. I know what you're thinking - whoa, slow down! Ride his bike? Catch a train? You should be flogged, woman!

He got up to mischief sometimes, but damn it - if he didn't at 11 I'd think there was something wrong with him. His body acts before his brain does and sometimes it makes him do stupid things. But I will not let my boy be known as a hooligan or criminal mastermind. Not yet.

Needless to say, this incident that happened a long 12 months ago, has played on my mind since. I don't dwell on it. I just let it fester away in the back of my head. It made me question my ability to parent my child. It made me think I couldn't parent my child. At the time of the brouhaha, I was pregnant with Scarlett and this left me questioning my ability to share my maternal love five ways. I took this woman's verbal beating, all the while thinking when would be the most appropriate time to punch her in the vagina. 

This was 2011. Take it back 30 years and it would be the norm to let your kids out first thing in the morning only to return home when their tummies rumbled or it was starting to get dark. And I'm sorry, I don't buy into this crap of it was safer then. There were still cars and there were still bad people doing bad shit. There were still drugs and bullies and violence and pedophiles and murderers in the late 70's and early 80's. Not many houses were completely surrounded by fences enclosing their cherubs within the safe confines of the yard back then and sometimes you got hurt. You didn't wear seat belts and your mum ate soft cheese when she was pregnant. Geez, I'm shitty and opinionated tonight.

I've just come from watching Campbell sleep, and I'm thinking about the loving, sensitive, funny, gorgeous boy I am raising and I know I have done good.

Unconditional.

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